[Verse 1]
Why'd you always try to fuck with my hair?
You mocked my haircut again
So I got some scissors and cut it off
And now I can't go out in public
I look like a suburban monk
I guess I got punk'd because

[Chorus]
Ashton Kutcher's got nothing on you
Ashton Kutcher will be laughing at you
I just wanted to be your Demi Moore

[Verse 2]
You fuck with my system again
I'll take your favourite pen
I'll take your t shirt and put it in the wash
Then when you go out in public
Your fabric will be fucking soft
I guess you got punk'd 'cause

[Chorus]
Ashton Kutcher's got nothing on you
Ashton Kutcher will be laughing at you
I just wanted to be your Demi Moore

[Bridge]
But they're not together anymore
[Outro]
I just wanted to be your mid-noughties MTV star
I just wanted to be your mid-noughties MTV star
See I just wanted to be your mid-noughties MTV star
I just wanted to be your mid-noughties MTV star