[Verse 1]
Drag me out of bed
Now I'm at the spot, yeah
Same old people
Wow, what a change of pace
Catchin' up with kids I caught up with last week
What can I say except for "Hey, how's your ex? Where's your—"
Why the fuck am I here?
And there's this lame-ass chick
Who wants a chance with me
And she just spilt her shitty mixed drink on my feet
And fuck these tunes, they're trash
Some 80s pop rehash
And now she's on my lap
Takes off my Good Co. cap

[Chorus]
Woah momma, woah girl
Can you take it slow?
Like, I ain't even had my coffee yet
There's a reason I'm hiding by the microwave
And it's so that we could have some time well spent
I mean baby can't you see?
You're not the type for me
I'm minor league, girl
Six shots for my DD
Just get away from me
All I need is some caffeine
[Verse 2]
Okay fuck this I'm on the porch
I'm getting fresh air
If fresh is what you call cigarettes and awkward stares
So yeah, y'all make me have a few and all it did was worse my mood
And now the yard's a whirlin' tie-dyed mess in my eyes
And now some douche is yellin' "Buffalo" like ten times
I hope the cops get called
Fuck handcuffs, least I get a ride
And this is nice now and then
But here I am again
Where the fuck am I again?
Whatever, I gotta bounce
I wanna watch TV
Recline and warm my feet
With just a bit of, uh
Well, you get the point

[Chorus]
Woah momma, woah girl
Can you take it slow?
Like, I ain't even had my coffee yet
There's a reason I'm hiding by the microwave
And it's so that we could have some time well spent
I mean baby can't you see?
You're not the type for me
I'm minor league, girl
Six shots for my DD
Just get away from me
All I need is
All I, All I need is
Some caffeine
Some caffeine
[Outro]
(Humming)