Original Cast of Calvin Berger
Opening Dream
[Calvin}
Hi Rosanna...
I know you don't know me, but...
Well I have gone to school with you the past eleven years, and-

[Rosanna]
I know exactly who you are Calvin...I think you're so hot!

[Calvin]
Really?!

[Rosanna]
Your eyes pierce me from behind those thick lenses...

[Calvin]
I don't believe this!

[Rosanna]
Your lips are so smooth and moist...

[Calvin]
Lip balm...

[Rosanna]
But most of all? Right in between... I love your sexy...little...

[ALARM BEEPS]

[Calvin]
Of all the organs to be well endowed! Look at it!
First thing I see every morning
First thing everyone sees when they look at me...
My parents say I should be "less insecure"
But when you're seventeen
And IT'S potentially the one thing keeping you from her?
A giant schnoz is a pretty big deal!