If there were a God I would thank her the toothy insides of ripe pomegranates, for the easy thumbing of their soft peels
Thank her for seventy-three degree weather
For leaning oaks, glass bottom boats, and always acknowledging what is beneath us
For the neighbors who kept their tire swings long after their kids had grown up and moved out or the loyal lemonade stand customers
For the man who gave up his seat to a pregnant woman on the five o’clock 3 train
Or the brief moment of connectedness between two strangers reading the same book. I would thank her for that book
I would thank her for the bicycle shops that fix tires without charge and Costco samples on Saturdays
In fact, I would thank her for all of the free things ever
Except price quotes I might not thank her for those
But I would thank her for the good kinds of taxes and the schools that they build
For wide bike lanes and the cars who stay out of them, for the persistent love of New York City and the fact that even when I want to hate it I end up dancing to a singing saxophone in the middle of Grand Central Station
I would thank her for that saxophone
I would thank her for the parents who let their kids learn an instrument, for the kids who made their parents let them, I would thank her for the kids who said fuck it and taught themselves
For the teachers, philosophers, waitresses, and scientists
For the good fathers and the person who invented eyeglasses
I would thank her for every coincidence
and someone might say in God’s eyes there is no coincidence but the God I am imagining still doesn’t know what to make of the fact that people run into their friends just moments after thinking of one another, my God is just as confused as we are
My God thinks the saying “everything happens for a reason” is bullshit
She also thinks the act of claiming one’s god as their own is serious bullshit
I just want to thank something for the people who organize archives and the museum guides who get way too excited, for the tourists who ask questions
I want to thank something for the answer yes
I tell my grandmother I do not believe in God but that I am a good person
I wonder why I feel these two phrases must be said together
If there were a god, I would hope she loves the people who doubt her existence
that way she would continue to give us these moments, these moments that make us say
if there were a god I would thank her for this