I Fucked a Turkey
Blood, Sweat & Shitty Dildos
[Intro]
In the red corner
With more combined titles than the Rehab album
Weighing in at one-hundred-and-ninety-three pounds
I Fucked a Turkey and Got Away with It
(Crowd cheers)
Contending, round two, for the championship belt
The gluttonous gal who won't give in
Weighing in at two-hundred-and-thirty-five pounds
Amber Downs
(Crowd boos)
Now, fellas, I want a clean and fair fight;
No animal abuse, no rape, no false accusations
Fighting for the championship belt and internet attention
May the best man win
(Bell rings)
[Verse]
What up, kids? She's back for round two
Here's a little heads up of what we're gonna do;
First, we'll start by outlining all of the problems
Then, we're gonna talk about how we can solve them
We'll start with the biggest issue that there is;
Like when you left a dildo covered in shit
You sent 'round videos, I’m glad that I was missed
Because I don't want to see a brown fake dick
You made a fake account, proceeded to lie
You didn't pipe down the first damn time
You're like a hamster that can't commit suicide
At least this time a snake didn't have to die
It's okay, a revolution's great
You came back a second time like herpes on your face
From a one nighter ‘cause you never get the dates
Because spending any time with you's a fucking waste
Glancing at your crotch, it looks like your trans
You have to check dick, you'd force your hands down my pants
You give everyone who gave you shit a ban
You fucking look like you're Robbie Rotten's Nan
Am I getting bored of sitting on the shelf?
Life's so fucking hard, it’s like I’m in Hell
Would I be a slag? I can't really tell
So, I’ll whip my baps out and dress like an elf
People gave me so much beef, I had to sort the file
All these accusations, man, it's like you’re on trial
You're a troublemaker and you're proper fucking vile
Nine-nine-nine has got you on speed dial
I donate sperm, please don't donate your eggs
You’d make a little cash but you'd waste it on sex
You're a waste of time, you're doing in my head
You're so fucking broke, someone else bought you Greggs
You live in everybody's DM’s
You live behind the backs of all of your friends
You live in a bin where the street ends
You live in the lyrics of all these sends
Hold up, wait, stop the beat, hang on
I think I just found another dirty tampon
Pussy spit red, it's like a fucking dragon
No protective suit so my head’s got a bag on
Being schizo', drugs, rape, abuse
Casual sex, ADD, fake accounts
Sending n***s, home abuse and other untruths
These are all the things that Amber's lied about
Everything you ever do is seriously wrong
It's why we took the time to make this second song
The list of shit we had on you was really really long
Shit like feeding a dog with a fucking bath-bomb
I don't want to think about you ever getting munched
I don't want to know if you've ever been lunch
I don't want to see if you have teeth in your cunt
Because your muff looks like a lasagne's been punched
The vagina's not supposed to be that colour
I'd guess you’re into that, not like most others
Open tumblr, I can see you’ve got udders
Seeing your shit makes me physically shudder
You send pics and clips of your tits into
Group chats with kids in, it's fucking sick
I spent the time to type up this diss in a fit
To fight back with the red wicked witch
You tend to do a lot of shit visible
It's why you make all of us miserable
How are your home conditions live-able
When you piss everywhere that's physical?
You mock death and that's a bad mantra
Considering your pussy's the same colour as Santa
This diss is way past banter
Like telling people to ‘Go get cancer’
Here's the quick solution I’d promised I'd give
There's one little gimmick, just one little trick
Seeing that you need to do to get rid of the bitch
Find that little share button and give it a click
This track spreads further than your fanny's wide
Shit gets too real and you run off and you hide
You ran to a corner with your cronies and you cried
This time you better be the snake that dies