[Intro]
You're so cute that I'm always crying out to you
You keep the spiders crawling up my legs
And making homes where my tights rip
I don't like that, like your ignorance (Haha)
Spider bites hurt, but a kiss is always fun
It's exactly what I wanted
It's exactly what I-

[Pre-Chorus]
She's getting very close
Sometimes I know I'm wrong
Okay, I'm wrong a lot of times but maybe
This time is different
But I definitely know
That I can hold it out now

[Chorus]
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked-up client
But he says
"Don't you know that speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath"
[Verse 1]
A waiter comes up
And asks "Oh, what'll it be tonight?"
She licks her lips and with a wink
She says, almost knowing there'll be a reaction
"Something juicy"
I'm sure, I'm sure
Do you have something I can take home
And leave in my fridge for about six or seven years?
And bring it out, and it'll still be tender
Something I can cut without a knife?
I'm thinking sorbet, sorbet
How could I forget?
It's cold to the tongue, and it's cold to the touch
"You're gonna get a headache if you keep eating that all day"
I don't care anyway

[Pre-Chorus]
She's getting very close
Sometimes I know I'm wrong
Okay, I'm wrong a lot of times but maybe
This time is different
But I definitely know that I can't hold it out now

[Chorus]
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked-up client
But he says
"Don't you know that speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath"
[Verse 2]
Okay so across the table
He wags his big finger and says
"With maybe just an ounce of condemnation
That kind of diet is lacking nutrition
You know that I love you
It's sad that you're missing out on this banquet
To eat fucking ice off the floor"
My waiter is standing there across the room
He's crying his eyes out
Wishing he could go home and kiss his wife
But this spectacle is
Out of his control sadly
So he just stands there
And waits it out and
Picks up all the rest of the ice cream
When they've both left

[Pre-Chorus]
She's getting very close
Sometimes I know I'm wrong
Okay, I'm wrong a lot of times but maybe
This time is different
But I definitely know that I can't hold it out now

[Chorus]
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked-up client
But he says
"Don't you know that speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath"
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
Her sweat is stumbling out as she's speaking
I've got a story to tell about the weekend
All about our fucked-up client
But he says
"Don't you know that speaking like this
Only leads to laughs at dinner?
It's better just to save your breath"