[Verse 1]
If you really think about it
Babies are weird
Tiny little humans
Tugging on their daddy's beards

[Pre-Chorus]
Because of this I realize
I don't want a child
Those things are really wild!
Because of this I realize..

[Chorus]
I don't want no baby
I know they drive you crazy
They'll make your vision go wavy
I don't want no baby. (I don't want no baby.)

[Verse 2]
Now that i'm thinking
No wonder babies leave to drinking
Tiny humans sucking, and chuckling
Ew

[Pre-Chorus]
Because of this I realize
I don't want a child
Those things are really wild!
Because of this I realize..

[Chorus]
I don't want no baby
I know they drive you crazy
They'll make your vision go wavy
I don't want no baby. (I don't want no baby.)

[Breakdown]
Yes I know we were born to reproduce
Wasting all our money on their apple juice
And feeding the rest to our alcohol abuse

[Outro]
I dont wan't no baby... [X7]