[KRISTINE, AL]
I really couldn't sing
I could never really sing
What I couldn't do was
Sing!
I have trouble with the
Note!
It goes all around my
Throat!
It's a terrifying
Thing!
See, I really couldn't hear which note was lower or was
Higher!
Which is why I disappear if someone says, "Let's start a
Choir!"
Hey, when I begin to
Squeak!
It's a cross between a
Shriek!
And a quiver or a
Moan!
It's a little like a
Croak!
Or the record player
Broke!
What it doesn't have is
Tone!
Oh, I know you're thinking what a crazy
Ding-a-ling!
But I really couldn't
Sing!
I could never really
Sing!
What I couldn't do was
Sing!
Three blind mice
Three blind mice
It isn't intentional!
She's doing her best
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle bells, jingle bells
It really blows my mind
She gets depressed

But what I lack in pitch I sure make up in
Power!
And all my friends say that I am perfect for the shower
Still, I'm terrific at a
Dance!
Guys are comin' in their
Pants!
I'm a birdie on the
Wing!
But when I begin to
Chirp!
They say, "Who's the little
Twerp!
Going 'pong' instead of
Ping!
And when Christmas comes and all my friends go
[ENSEMBLE]
Caroling!

[KRISTINE, AL]
It is so dishearten-
Ning!
It is so disquiet-
Ting!
It is so discourag-
Ging!
Darling, please stop answer-
Ring!
See, I really couldn't
Sing!
I could never really
Sing!
What I couldn't do was

[ENSEMBLE]
Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do
Do-ti-la-so-fa-mi-re-do
La!

[KRISTINE]
La!
[ENSEMBLE]
La!

[KRISTINE]
La!

[GIRLS, BOYS]
Sing, sing
Sing-a, sing-a, sing, sing
Sing, sing Never sing a note
Please never
Sing, sing Never sing a note
Don't ever...

[KRISTINE]
...Sing

[ENSEMBLE]
Sing!