[Chorus/Intro]
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay
But the gayest is James

[Verse 1]
Guess who's really fuckin gay
Robert, Lars and Kirk and James
They like suckin cocks while their butthole's bein pounded

[Verse 2]
They like dicks in every hole
They all swallow asses whole
Kirk does Lars who is already gay with James and Robert

[Chorus]
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay
But the gayest is James

[Verse 3]
James will finger Kirk 'til six
Then suck on Rob and Lars's dicks
While the balls of Kirk are safe inside his ass
[Verse 4]
Kirk's hand is fisted up
When it's twisted in James' butt
Ass to mouth
Thrust to bust
In James' ass, yeah

[Chorus]
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay (with James)
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay
Lars is a Hobbit

[Interlude]
Da da da, da da da, da da da da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da-ah da-ah da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da-ah da-ah da

[Bridge]
Cliff was gay
Jason's gay
Rob's a faggot
Ass to mouth
Thrust to bust
In James' ass
[Chorus]
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay (with James)
Kirk is gay
Robert's gay
Lars is gay
But the gayest is James

[Bridge]
Ass to mouth (Ass to mouth)
Thrust to bust (Thrust to bust)
James' ass (James' ass)
The gayest is James

[Post-Chorus]
Yeah
They're gay like Sting and Bono
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

[Pre-Chorus]
They sure like suckin dick

[Interlude]
Da da da, da da da, da da da da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da-ah da-ah da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da-ah da-ah da
[Outro]
Da da da da, da da da, da da da da
Da da da da, da da, da da-ah da-ah da
Da da da da, da da da, da da da da (Gay? Yes)
Da da da da, da da da, (At least on the downlow) da da da-ah da-ah da (Gay? Yes)
Da da da da, da da da, da da da da (At least on the downlow)
Da da da da, da da da

[Post-Song]
Welcome to the Band
Congratulations
You're one of us now
Holy shit, I'm in Metallica
This is awesome
This is like my dream come true
This is every Metallica fan's dream come true
This is like the greatest thing of all time, I can't believe I'm here
Nothing could ruin this, even I can't fuck this up, oh my god
I don't even know what to say
... I should say something I guess
Hey good thing you guys aren't a buncha niggers
I'm with ya brother