I'm feeling kind of moody
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the jacuzzi
My life is in shambles
My girl left me, my dad's locked up in Atlanta
My mom's a trucker
And my grandpaw was like "Man, fuck her!"
And my auntie, she's a prostitute
I get ten percent, that ain't a lot of loot
See, my life's a cliche
I go to Venice and play frisbee
Or I play basketball
But I'm the only white dude, it spells "trouble" y'all
See I'm just a cracker, smack ya
In the back of the Aqua Jaguar
Man, my life is so shady, you couldn't understand the year 1980
Cocaine, no Rogaine
I got a full head of hair, it's flowing man
My freestyles are unstoppable
Man you a fake 2pac, I jump over your obstacle
I eat a lot of [?], I eat a lot of waffles
I hang out at hospitals
Cause I OD'd too many times
On prescription pills, Corona, and wine
See this is off the top of the dome
I don't write poems but I slap your mom like a totem pole
Bitch, it's the scrotum hole
Fuck all y'all [?] YouTube fucking hoes
My shit bananas
I'm from Frisco, call me Joe Montana
And I'll throw some Jerry Rice on you at your funeral
You a stupid human ho
I'm a Android, I'm a robot
I don't stop rapping, I don't smoke pot
I'm trying to go sober
But I'm having a lot of problems when I wake up hungover
I go to AA meetings wasted
Drinking on Patron and smoking on Jamaican weed
Pass the fucking envelope
I didn't win the contest, that's all she wrote