I made a mess that's too big to clean up and I left it in the middle of the sea
I'm waiting for it to sink to the bottom, I tried, I can't wish it away
And who the hell am I keeping up appearances for when I'm crying on fire?
How will I rearrange the time I waste? I won’t sleep today or ever

I'm the last liar alive on liar island
I'm the dad with my shirt tucked in
And I'm putting a hashtag, an @ and an apostrophe in the middle of my name
And can you do me a favor and write "wash me" on the dust on my soul?
(I paid good money for this)

I learned less from ten crystals healing sessions than I learned from an hour of TV
And I read somewhere that twelve gray hairs amounts to a serious disease
Now I’m gonna be a little condescending, that means I’m talking down to you
Orange eyes with a gray-green face, and no one too small to destroy

I'm the last liar alive on liar island
I'm the dad with my shirt tucked in
And I'm putting a hashtag, an @ and an apostrophe in the middle of my name
And can you do me a favor and write "wash me" in the dust of my soul?

(Hey. Hey! Hey! *Random distant screams*)