[Verse 1]
I can do the easy parts, you only have to do the hard parts
Are my hands freakishly huge and is that why everything slips through my fingers?
Let's get canceled! Let's get canceled together! If I get canceled, I wanna get canceled together!
Exclusion is a gift, a silver medal, the end of youth, a couple packs of my favorite snacks

Dr. Dre, not Dr. Seuss, no tenants and no trees, no snowmobiles and no skis
Call your doctor immediately if you faceplant in the salad bowl
I'm doing this out of sheer boredom over an Apple Store employee type beat
Sometimes I wonder if a single good thing exists on Earth, and then I eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch

[Chorus]
Everything is boring now
I can't help it, I
I can't help it
Everything is boring now
I can't help it, I
I can't help it
An emoji for each stage of grief
Man, good luck looking good in anything
Human trash is everywhere
And the highlights get older every year
Everything is boring now
I can't help it, I
I can't help it
[Verse 2]
Exactly, Kevin! The moon just sits there! A blood blister!
I knew you were full of (ah!) from the moment you called yourself a straight shooter! A supreme corpse too busy looking at someone else's phone
Six hundred white guys have formed a line to give me advice
But I'm the kind of person who'd carry around a pocket Constitution so you don't need to buy me one because I already have one
Every night is a celebration for some reason for these rich goth teens wearing Marilyn Manson makeup, in search of a second bagel
There's always some reason to talk about yourself
Are you in line? Discarding an empty bag of smooth jazz electrolytes
And of course I relate to Lena Dunham, I relate to every annoying genius. Don't get hit by a car!

[Chorus]
Everything is boring now
I can't help it, I
I can't help it
Everything is boring now
I can't help it, I
I can't help it
An emoji for each stage of grief
Man, good luck looking good in anything
Human trash is everywhere
And the highlights get older every year
Everything is boring now
I can't help it, I
I can't help it