[Verse One]
You'd be surprised how fast a secret gets around when there's nothing else to talk about
And it might even become a screenplay and get nominated for a Writer's Guild Award
I picked up a book at the library, I was trying to feel well-read
I leafed through the first four or five pages before I put it back
And this is what it said:
"I am the sum of my top 5 friends"

[Chorus]
(Yeah) Human frailty has been going around (Woohoo)
Must have caught a case and it's worse than most (Yeah)
Here's a new idea from Idea Town (Woohoo)
Wearing a big hat makes you look smarter
I'm at the top of Friend Mountain now (Yeah)
My phone is dead, I'm not coming down
(Yeah, woohoo)

[Verse Two]
You were invited to my birthday, then you called out sick with dandruff
Man we knew you were unreliable, but now we know you are a flake too
I picked up a prescription at the pharmacy, it was something to feel less sad
I swallowed the first four or five doses before I read the warning and this is what it said:
"Life is beautiful look at dogs"

[Chorus]
(Yeah) Human frailty has been going around (Woohoo)
Must have caught a case and it's worse than most (Yeah)
Here's a new idea from Idea Town (Woohoo)
Wearing a big hat makes you look smarter
I'm at the top of Friend Mountain now (Yeah)
My phone is dead, I'm not coming down
(Yeah, woohoo)
[Bridge - Instrumental]

[Chorus]
(Yeah) Human frailty has been going around (Woohoo)
Must have caught a case and it's worse than most (Yeah)
Here's a new idea from Idea Town (Woohoo)
Wearing a big hat makes you look smarter
I'm at the top of Friend Mountain now (Yeah)
My phone is dead, I'm not coming down
(Yeah, woohoo)

Hope was lost, but hope sucked anyway (Yeah, woohoo)