[Verse 1]
I am living in an extra large box
It’s a nice big house with a TV/VCR
Where rats are eating all my earthly possessions
I called the pledge drive
I got the suicide hotline

Life’s little moments in an extra large box (Get up, get up)
Courting controversy in an esoteric field (Put it down, put it down)
Why don’t the police ever obey the law? (Get up, get up)
I don’t know anything (Put it down, put it down)
You don’t know anything

[Pre-Chorus]
Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt
A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it
Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated (but not that hydrated)
No one is mad at me
No one is mad at me
No one is mad at me
No one is mad at me

[Chorus]
If woke dudes must die, I’ll go first
I don’t know anything
You don’t know anything
If we must dumpster dive, I’ll go first
I don’t know anything
You don’t know anything
And if you think youth has been wasted
On the young and the wasted
And so now one of us has to die, I’ll go first
I don’t know anything
You don’t know anything

[Verse 2]
I am a supergrain, I’m native to Peru
I thrive in the elevations of the Andes mountain range
I am arguably ruining the environment and the local economy
And you can substitute me for bulgur wheat

This mob of teens with sponges is ready to wash your car (Get up, get up)
I’m standing in the Wendy’s drive-thru screaming “Fuck all the transphobes” (Put it down, put it down) (Sir, this is a Wendy's)
I feel nothing and I’m 14-inches tall (Get up, get up)
I don’t know anything (Put it down, put it down)
You don’t know anything

[Pre-Chorus]
Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt
A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it
Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated (but not that hydrated)
No one is mad at me
No one is mad at me
No one is mad at me
No one is mad at me
[Chorus]
If woke dudes must die, I’ll go first
I don’t know anything
You don’t know anything
If we must dumpster dive, I’ll go first
I don’t know anything
You don’t know anything

And if you think youth has been wasted
On the young and the wasted
And so now one of us has to die, I’ll go first
I don’t know anything
You don’t know anything