[Verse 1]
I was Miss Preteen Wet Dream when I was seventeen
I lip-sync and pretended to sing
Got breast implants and a wedding ring
I flashed all my privates, they put pictures in the magazines
Don't take the kids from me
(Don't take the kids from me)
I started hittin' the bottle, lost all the titles of role model
Hitched in Vegas, forgot it
Did all the things that I wanted
And with a kid in the car don't need a seatbelt or protection
Don't take the kids from me
(Don't take the kids from me)

[Chorus]
I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the Hicks and Trailers
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. "Oh my God, that hair - She shaved it"
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. Now I have a Double Chin
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. "Don't we miss when she was thin?"
(Don't take the kids from me)

[Verse 2]
I'm Mrs. Don't Take The Kids From Me
Try then, pissing me off
I'll take an umbrella to your car
Just try flippin' me off
And now we're gonna make a scene
And I won't show up to court
Now are you sure you'll take the kids from me?
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. Most Likely To Walk Around Naked In The Shopping Mall
Doesn't matter 'cause I'll do a line or two to forget it all
No wonder there's panic in the industry, I mean please
Don't take the kids from me
(Don't take the kids from me)
[Chorus]
I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the Hicks and Trailers
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. "Oh my God, that hair - She shaved it"
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. Now I have a Double Chin
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. "Don't we miss when she was thin?"
(Don't take the kids from me, me, me)

[Bridge]
I'm Mrs. Preteen Wet Dream, when I was seventeen
It matters when I walk with barefeet
And leave my kids with whomever's free
Aren't they sick of the pictures of my privates in the magazines?
(Don't take the kids from me)

[Chorus]
I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the Hicks and Trailers
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. "Oh my God, that hair - She shaved it"
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. Now I have a Double Chin
(Don't take the kids from me)
I'm Mrs. "Don't we miss when she was thin?"
(Don't take the kids from me)