[Spoken Intro: Alistair Taylor & George Martin]
...bottle of claret for you if I'd realised
I'd forgotten all about it, George, I'm sorry
Well do next time
Will you forgive me?
Mmmyes
Cheeky bitch

[Chorus]
(Number nine) Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number (Number, number nine, number nine)

[Verse 1]
Then there's this Welsh Rarebit wearing some brown underpants
About the shortage of grain in Hertfordshire
Everyone of them knew that as time went by
They'd get a little bit older and a little bit slower but
It's all the same thing, in this case manufactured by someone who's always
Umpteen time your father's giving it diddly-i-dee
District was leaving, intended to pay for

[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine

Who's to know?
Who was to know?
[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

[Verse 2]
I sustained nothing worse than
Also for example
Whatever you're doing
A business deal falls through
I informed him on the third night
When fortune gives

[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

[Bridge]
Right! Right!
Right, right, right, right!
Right!
Right!

[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

[Verse 3]
I've missed all of that
It makes me a few days late
Compared with, like, wow!
And weird stuff like that
Taking our sides sometimes
Floral bark
Rogue doctors have brought this specimen
I have nobody's short-cuts, aha

[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

With the situation

They are standing still

Upon the telegram

Ooh, ooh

[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

Ooh

[Verse 4]
A man without terrors from beard to false
As the headmaster reported to me
My son he really can try as they do to find function
Tell what he was saying, and his voice was low and his hive high
And his eyes were low

[Pre-Chorus]
Alright!
[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

[Verse 5]
So the wife called me, and we'd better go to see a surgeon
Or whatever to price it yellow underclothes
So, any road, we went to see the dentist instead
Who gave her a pair of teeth which wasn't any good at all
So instead I'd marry, join the bloody navy and went to sea

Block that kick, block that kick!

In my broken chair, my wings are broken and so is my hair
I'm not in the mood for whirling

Um da
Aaah

[Verse 6]
How?
Dogs for dogging, hands for clapping
Birds for birding and fish for fishing
Them for themming and when for whimming

Only to find the night-watchman
Unaware of his presence in the building

Onion soup

[Chorus]
Number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine, number nine

Industrial output
Financial imbalance

Thrusting it between his shoulder blades

The Watusi
The Twist

El Dorado

Take this brother, may it serve you well

Maybe it's nothing
Aaah
Maybe it's nothing
What? What? Oh

[Verse 7]
Maybe even then
Exposure could be difficult thing
It's quick like rush for peace is
Because it's so much
It was like being naked
If you become naked

[Outro]
Hold that line, hold that line!
Block that kick, block that kick!