Twilight is fucking annoying
Cause everything's light but not quite
Touching myself's getting boring
And I really can't be bothered to go out tonight

All the undergrads are writing on the coffeeshop walls
And your mother comes and kisses me goodnight and more
The internet is stupid and it's clogged with porn
And it's too juicy for my eyes

Laura doesn't visit Dimitri
And the others want the all you can eat me now
It's spring again and hay fever's a-buzz
Among the flowers and their menstrual thorns

See me canter on the stage, I am the crеam-faced loon
This is my final curtain call as I molest my tune
And is that thundеrous applause for me?
I think it is and it's all for me!
Oh my, and it's all for me!