I want a close-knit, no-shit girlfriend
Who knows the world and how to disco-dance
I want a girl unlike my previous girlfriend
I couldn't meet with her unreasonable demands
I want an outfit in the height of fashion
I want a car so I can go for a ride
I want a drink or two without my car crashin'
I want a bed that I can sleep inside

You're big into ghosts and hardcore, full-on sex
You wear black 'cos it mirrors your tortured soul
I'm Janet and I'm Janet and I'm Janet again
I'm Janet and I'm Janet Christ and Janet and
I got a hard-on waiting for some cha-cha-cha
I got a hard-on waiting for some ooh-la-la
I got a hardcore feeling that my body's aching for one
Don't hate me, it's a natural urge

I want a hip, new-school apartment
I want a latte as I stare at the sea
I want art deco and a shagpile carpet
I want a huge flat-screen TV
I want the rights to all the internet pornography
So that my children can avoid corruption, yeah
I want assassins to attack the royal family
I want to cut and shape and style and dye!
You're big into ghosts and hardcore, full-on sex
You wear black 'cos it mirrors your tortured soul
I'm Janet and I'm Janet and I'm Janet again
I'm Janet and I'm Janet Christ and Janet and
I got a hard-on waiting for some cha-cha-cha
I got a hard-on waiting for some ooh-la-la
I got a hardcore feeling that my body's aching for one
Don't hate me, it's a natural urge