[Intro]
"It's just, my family's out of gas and around the corner and, you know, I just got off work, and, man, if you could just give me, like, a couple bucks, man, I could mail it right back to you, as soon as I get-"

[Verse 1: Shaggy 2 Dope]
So there I was watchin' Sanford & Son, workin' the graveyard shift
At a party store, rollin' a spliff
I'm behind the glass, I see crackheads all night
But tonight the moon is red and shit ain't feelin' so right
My first sight was a basehead tryin' to break into my car
In plain view, too I ran out with a crowbar
Hammered it across his cranium, he fell over dead
But no blood, only dust, he's a fuckin' basehead
Here come another one jumpin' out of a tree
But I ain't even have to move, he missed by like twenty feet
He slammed down on the pavement, I quickly started kickin'
Beat him with the crowbar 'til he finally stopped twitchin' ("Stop it! Stop! Stop it!")
Looked behind me, seen another zombie in the register
I'm used to shoo'in' 'em off ("Get the fuck out of here!") from beggin' from the customers
But now I gotta reach up under the seat and grab the hand-ax
Whipped it from there and stuck it into his back

[Chorus: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
(And I'm like "What the fuck?!")
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope]
Goddammit, it's two more in the cooler once I'm back in the sto'
Pull my hand-ax out that back and then attack him some mo'
I charged, but he busted me in the head with a Pepsi
No effect, I left him shakin' on the floor like epilepsy
With they necks severed, fuckin' zombies for rocks
Another jumped my back and we went through the glass into the parking lot
He tried to kill me, he told me "Gimme some change!"
All diggin' in my ear for it and shit, deranged!
I grabbed him by his head and tried to yank it to the left to break his neck
But his head spun all the way around, and that was fuckin' it
I was outta there, I seen another comin' out the grave
Zombies, beggin' for change!
I'm fuckin' swingin' at em, knock they chin off their face
But they still comin' at me, hands out, they wanna base
They must think my white eyeballs are giant crack rocks
I gotta slap 'em out they funky-ass socks, help me!

[Chorus: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
[Verse 3: Violent J]
They don't have a brain left behind they empty eyes
They want crack rocka coca and they buzzin' like flies
You might pull they arm off, you try to shake their hand
Because their souls been gone, it's just a shell of a man
Walkin' around lookin' for rock anyway they can get it
Even if you got AIDS, them dirty bitches let you hit it
And you still gettin' something worse than you already got
I seen one catch one in the head, not even know he got shot
It was crack smoke blowing out the side of his head
He put a champagne cork in the hole and that was it
Basehead zombies, millions of 'em and more
With the steamroller, roll 'em over flat on the floor
They're like dead-ass bodies walkin' around without the ghost
With no clue where they fuckin' headed but the rock roast
Opportunities were given, they let 'em all pass
Now they themselves ain't worth the shit out they ass

[Chorus: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
(The attack of the baseheads) They comin' for your goods
Simultaneously, in fifty thousand neighborhoods
(The attack of the baseheads) They come out the dark
And they comin' for you, they wanna pull out your heart and smoke it
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(Fuckin' baseheads)
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
(Crack rocka coca)
(And I'm like "What the fuck?!")
(The attack of the baseheads) They on a mission
They always on the hunt for somethin' they always missin'
(Crack rocka coca)
(The attack of the baseheads) Every city, every town
They always on the hunt for somethin' never to be found
("Hold up! I need change!")
[Segue]
"[?] tragedy, beautiful human being"