[Intro]
There's so many things I want this Christmas
But none of them are things that Christmas brings
Peace on Earth, goodwill to man
Terminal illness-defeating vaccines
I want solutions to bigger global problems
Like violent police and fascist rulings
But those aren't things that can come by Christmas
So I guess this Christmas, I'll take things

[Interlude]
Oh, that's great, Alex! What kind of things are you looking for this Christmas, huh? You're Jewish, right?

[Verse 1]
I want for children to not be hungry
And for people to not be sad
I'd love the world to stop fighting
Then the world wouldn't be so bad
Wish we could figure out how to treat
Everyone like human beings
But this year for Christmas, I'll take things

[Chorus]
Beautiful things, expensive things
New things that remind me of older things
Tangible things, intangible things
Necklaces and jewels and other shiny things
Of course I'd love to stop the oil drilling
No freaking fracking and no fucking spilling
But this year for Christmas, I'll take things
[Interlude]
What else?
Oh oh, well, there's a few things

[Verse 2]
I want for everyone to be with their families
And never have to fight in wars
I'd love to see the end of racism
And labelling women as sluts and whores
And oh, what I'd really love under my tree
Is an open border policy
But those can't come before Christmas Eve
So, shucks! I guess this Christmas, I'll take things

[Chorus]
Fancy things, ugly things
Digital money for physical things
Normal things, Stranger Things
Physical money for digital things
Ho ho ho things, oh oh oh things
No no no, ah-ooh

[Outro]
Since global warming won't end Christmas morning
I'm making a list, checking it twice
A big ol' list of a bunch of things
'Cause this year for Christmas
This year for Christmas
This year for Christmas! Hanukkah! Kwanzaa! Ramadan and Buddhism Thursday too!
I'll take things!
I'll take things!