[Intro: Announcer]
(spoken)
Introducing Hughie Stone Fish
Introducing Alex fuckin' Lewis
And now, introducing Keith Habersberger

[Verse 1: Alex, Alex & Hughie]
(sung)
Welcome to the show
Tonight's the fuckin' night
Fuckin' comedy music's fuckin' outta sight
I'm gonna get there early
Catch 'em settin' up
He's got his horn in his hand
His fuckin' drink in his cup
Wait, who are you two?
Ya hear for the show?
They say "no, no, no, no"
Oh, I get it now

[Chorus: Alex & Hughie]
Because it's Keith
And the band
Those two other guys in his little side project
Keith
And the band
I saw them in a vid but I didn't follow
[Verse 2: Hughie, Alex, Alex & Hughie]
Seven years ago
Right before The Try Guys
Keith and Alex met at a barbeque
They wrote a song about vaginas
That does not define us
'Cause Keith got fuckin' famous with The Try Guys
Little Hughie Stone Fish was at The Second City
Where the staff is underpaid
And the comedy is shitty
He joined the band
To make no money
They were still underpaid
But they were on Bring The Funny

[Chorus: Alex & Hughie]
Now it's Keith
And the band
One of them has curly hair
The other one has curly hair
It's Keith and the band
There's probably other things about 'em but I do not really care
It's Keith
And the band
I'll take a picture with all three but then I'm gonna ask for one with Keith
Not the band
Although the show was good and ultimately I had fun
[Bridge: Alex & Hughie]
Who are Hugh and Alex?
Who are Hugh and Alex?
Which one's Hugh
And which one's Alex?
Which one's Hugh and Alex?
Who are you
And who is Alex?
Which one's Hugh and Alex?
Which one's Hugh
And which one's Alex?

[Outro: Alex & Hughie, Alex, Hughie]
Because the two other guys
They make all the music
They do all the work
And they didn't choose it
And no, they're not bitter
But also they're not quitters
Although we're called Lewberger
We'll also take Keith and the band
It's fuckin' Keith and the band
It's fuckin' Keith and the band
It's fuckin' Keith and the band
It's fuckin' Keith and the band
(spoken)
Ok, dude, I'm gonna take the sickest keys solo this cast recording has ever heard