[Verse 1: Keith]
I walked into a spooky manor
Spiders, and cobwebs, and flickering lanterns
A spooky accordion started to play
And the monsters came out on display
The ghouls appeared
The ghosts drew near
The goblins bowed
The trolls grew aroused
The whole group paired off
Each pair had their alts
The accordion began to play The Wicked Waltz

[Verse 2: Keith, Ensemble, Keith & Ensemble]
Three steps to the right
Three steps to the left
Dips, spins, and twirls
There was nothing bereft
Now they're all laying down
They're all chest to chеst
I assume they're all about to rеst
But they begin to thrust
(Begin to thrust)
And heave
(We begin to heave)
The moaning has changed to pleasure from grief
(Pleasure from)
To keys in the bowl
The shoes by the door
How could I have known that there was an orgy in store?
[Chorus: Keith, Keith & Ensemble, Keith & Shaq]
The ghouls and ghosts are fucking
The witches and warlocks are fucking
The zombies and vampires are fucking
All to The Wicked Waltz
Werewolves in doggy style
Mummies calling each other “daddy”
Frankenstein's monster has such a big dick
And a goblin starts to suck it
Sirens sixty-nineing
Medusa making everyone hard
The Headless Horseman's getting head from himself

[Verse 2: Keith, Ensemble, Keith & Ensemble]
The Wicked Waltz
Stirs something inside me
When will the monsters decide to invite me?
A chill runs down my spine
A succubus is sucking my butt
A succubus is sucking
My butt
(Sucking my
She is sucking my
Sucking my butt)

[Verse 3: Keith]
Three humps to the front
Three pumps to the rear
Who would've known this is what I should fear?
Three bumps in the night
Three rumps in the light
[Bridge: Keith & Ensemble]
Stumbling over these skeleton boners
A big scary tree with a big wooden boner
The monsters from monsters and quivery boners
They're all there in The Wicked Waltz

[Chorus: Keith, Keith & Ensemble
The monsters are all fucking
And I'm fucking the monsters
All of us climax together
All to The Wicked Waltz
Wicked Waltz