[Chorus: Alex, Keith]
There's a tiny little tickle in my anus
What more can I do?
And I can't find the salt for my behind
And I wanna kill the tickle real soon
There's a tiny little tickle in my anus
And I can't take no more
(More)
I'm against the wall
I'd give it all
To find
That scratch I'm looking for

[Verse 1: Lewberger, Ensemble, Lewberger & Ensemble, Alex]
I need to find some sweet relief
To scratch myself, but secretly
And it just seems, that all these things
Are gonna draw attention to me
I tried the tickle booty shuffle
(I tried the tickle booty shuffle)
I tried to cross, uncross my legs
(I tried to cross, uncross my legs)
I stood up and sat back down
And rolled around
But still, I cannot
Scratch
(Cannot scratch, can't scratch)
[Chorus: Lewberger, Ensemble, Lewberger & Ensemble, Alex]
I've got a tickle in my anus
(I've got a tickle in my anus)
And I'm starting to get scared
(And I'm starting to get scared)
I don't want anyone to know
Of the secret that's in my underwear
I cannot scratch what's itching me
That's caught between my booty cheeks
I'm about to give an hour-long speech
And everybody's eyes are on me
Maybe I'll get up and dance and shake up my cheeks
(Shake up my cheeks)
Pull at my jeans till that little tickle squeaks
That tickle's driving me crazy
Driving me out of my mind
I tried to get my friends to do a booty-slappin' line
(spoken)
More to the middle, please!

[Bridge: Lewberger & Ensemble, Alex, Lewberger]
(sung)
Would you hand me that back scratcher or the [?] over there
Or a [?]
Or a hairbrush
Or a [?] or a bear
Or a sandwich or a basket
Or uneven piece of floor
An umbrella or a tree limb
Or a Nerf gun or a door
Or a moment to myself
With all of your backs turned
And give me just a moment
To undo this tickle germ
[Verse 2: Alex, Keith, Hughie, & Ensemble, Lewberger]
Well, I am feeling awful sorry
(I am feeling awful sorry)
But I just can't take no more
(Just can't take no more)
I am scratching real, straight contact
And the scratch pleasures me
To my core
(Need to find some sweet relief
To scratch myself, but secretly
And it just seems, that all these things
Are gonna draw attention to me)
(spoken)
Yeehaw!