Christmas time's upon us
Hannukah is here
Babies dressed as Jesus
Suddenly Appear

You argue with your family
You hide inside your car
You’re eating crappy candy
December, wherever you are

December is a weird month
I don't quite understand
It's got its own kind of music
And everyone has plans

Everything is half price
Your ugly sweater’s a star
You're ranked on a scale from naughty to nice
December, wherever you are

Well I don't get the advent calendar
And eight straight nights is just crazy
But I've learned to not ask questions 'cause
That's December baby

So deck the halls whatever
Put Vince Guaraldi on
Menorahs in the window
And Santa's on the lawn

Don't even try to make some sense
You really won’t get far
Just break out the frankincense
December, wherever you are