[ELOISE]
I guess I have to be a lady
Smiling and waving
Constantly obeying
I guess I need a prince
To come and save me
Even if I don’t need saving

I guess I must sit on a throne I don’t own
Raising the babies we made all alone
I guess as a lady there’s just some things I’ll never know

But if I were a man
I’d go to Japan
Maybe swim in the Seine
And learn to speak French
I’d have the whole world in the palm of my hand
I’d finally do what I could but I can’t
If I were a man

[PENELOPE, spoken]
Eloise, I must tell you something

[ELOISE, spoken]
Tell mе
[PENELOPE, spoken]
I've come to know of a woman who is with child

[ELOISE, spoken]
Is it a lady or a maid?

[PENELOPE, spoken]
It's a maid

[ELOISE, spoken]
I didn't know one of your maids wеre married

[PENELOPE, spoken]
She's not married

[ELOISE, spoken]
She’s not married?! How can a woman come to be with child if she's not married?

[PENELOPE, spoken]
Well, I don't know

[ELOISE, spoken]
We need to find out, so it doesn't happen to us!

[ELOISE]
I guess I have to go to banquets
Banquets make me anxious
Acting rather shameless
I guess I need a gown
Down past my ankles
Doing up my hair in tangles
I guess I have to sit still and look pretty
Dance 'til I'm proper dizzy
Throw away the life that I've been missing

But if I were a man
I'd summer in Canne
Maybe play in the sand
And wear my own pants
I'd have the whole world in the palm of my hand
I'd finally fly far away from the nest
If I were a man

There'll be no ladies and lords
Just the world to explore
And I don’t care if it’s all like a bore
No extravagant balls or gentlemen calls
And I don't give a rat if he's handsome and tall

I don't want to settle and squawk
I'll never leave unless for a delicate walk
Oh-oh-oh-oh
What if I, what if I want to fly?

‘Cause if I were a man
I'd go to Japan
Maybe swim in the Seine
And learn to speak French
I'd have the whole world in the palm of my hand
I’d finally do what I could but I can't
If I were a man
If I were a man
I'd have the whole world in the palm of my hand
I’d finally do what I could but I can't
If I were a man