His name is Max, he's going to school
He doesn't wear a helmet 'cause he's so cool
He keeps his helmet on his bars
Darts out randomly in front of cars
Talks on his phone while rollin' down the street
He even has a girlfriend, isn't that sweet?
He hits on chicks even if they're skanky
He smells his pits; they're hella stanky

Okay, I just need to clarify one motherf**king thing
Max is a bad-ass motherf**ker
If you dont f**king believe me, then look at his motherf**king helmet on his motherf**king handlebars!
Holy s**t, that guy is hardcore!
Oh yeah - he swears a s**tload, and everyone knows that's f**king awesome!

What's this?
Is this is a hardcore part?
Yeah!
Just like Max!

His name is Max!
He doesn't wear a helmet!
He keeps it on his handlebars!
He's failing all his classes!
And he's only... 10?
What? I thought he was like 26!
So you're telling me that I wrote this badass song about a 10-year old?

You know what? I don't care if he's 10, or 50, or even a freakin' baby!
He's still more hardcore than I'll ever be, and I'm 32!

Wait, Max! Watch out for your helmet!

Max didn't wear his helmet
Now he has suffered a concussion
And he will be in a coma for the next three weeks
But it was worth it because
Helmets make you look really geeky
Why do I sound like a bad a rip-off of the Red Hot Chili Peppers?