[Intro: Anthony, Ian]
You ready to do this, I-Dawg?
You know it, A-Dizzle
I'm ready for some hard core rappin'!
Alright let's do this
Yeah, here we go!

[Chorus: Both, Anthony, Ian]
Hey, yo, we gotta go
And tell you twenty-one things we'd rather do
If someone offers you tobacco
Say you got other things you'd rather go, do

[Verse 1: Ian, Anthony]
Like being in the snow without wearing a coat
Then sail in a lake with a hole-filled boat
Have a very dangerous encounter with a very mean goat
Thats what we rather do that use tobacco
We rather eat a banana with the peel on
Only wear socks and walk on a wet lawn
Have my sixteenth birthday on Christmas
Take a shower in soup

[Chorus: Both, Anthony, Ian]
Hey, yo, we gotta go
And tell you twenty-one things we'd rather do
If someone offers you tobacco
Say you got other things you'd rather go, do
[Verse 2: Anthony, Ian]
We rather move to the moon and be a sad, lonely guy
Live in a house without working Wi-Fi
Scuba dive with some, some sharks
Get dressed in the, the dark
Give up sweet treats and only eat bark
Cut off our hair with an Aluminum can
Get a massage by a rough-handed man

[Chorus: Both, Anthony, Ian]
Hey, yo, we gotta go
And tell you twenty-one things we'd rather do
If someone offers you tobacco
Say you got other things you'd rather go, do

[Verse 3: Anthony, Ian]
We rather carpool in the car with only screaming babies
Pour salt on a cut and rub in some rabies
Mmm, brush my hair with a fork
Mmm, dump milk on my shorts
Sign up to teach old folks to twerk
Drink a whole can of soda that was all flat
Go to a dog park, but dressed as a cat
Now, let's slow it down with a heart-to-heart chant

[Verse 4: Ian, Anthony]
Here comes the sad part, it's about to get real
So get out your hearts to prepare for the feels
We know our rhymes are hardcore
We hope the message isn't lost
When it comes to smoking, you need to know the real cost
So you gotta find someone close to you
And tell them twenty-one things you rather do
[Chorus: Both, Anthony, Ian]
Hey, yo, we gotta go
And tell you twenty-one things we'd rather do
If someone offers you tobacco
Say you got other things you'd rather go, do