[Chorus: Keith]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for n***s you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later, I burst out of your womb

[Verse 1: Ian]
I remember when I was eight, my life was going great
My sister loved Snapple, there was no debate (Uh-oh)
I thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank
Take the plastic off the cap and put in her drink (Uh-oh)
And when she sipped it, I saw her start to choke
I couldn't foresee, it'd get caught in her throat
Her birthday was ruined because of my stupid mistake
She never drank Snapple again and I got all her cake
Thanks, mom, for stepping up and saving the day (You rock)
I didn't want you to have to find out this way (Love you)
Hey, mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day rule

[Chorus: Keith]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for n***s you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later, I burst out of your womb
[Verse 2: Anthony]
And when I was fifteen, I messed up again
Trying to impress some girls with my friends
See, I understand the ladies and here was the scoop
Hot girls can't resist the sight of burning poop
So, I found a dog, lured him up the steps
Tried to feed him X-Lax but he wouldn't ingest
But I didn't stress out, I just dealt with the glitches
I knew what I had to do to impress these bitches
But the fire kept spreading, it wouldn't stay put
So, my momma had to stamp the crap out with her foot
Hey, mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day rule

[Chorus: Keith]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for n***s you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later, I burst out of your womb

[Post-Chorus: Keith]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb
Hey, mom, you're the bomb

[Verse 3: Anthony, Keith, Ian]
Sorry we hid so many things from you years ago
But here's a couple of other things you probably should know
I watched porn on the computer when I told you I never did
Put a sandwich in the VCR when I was a little kid
I punched a hole in the wall, and I hid it with a poster
Tried to cook a pizza in the mother flippin' toaster
Threw a big ass party every time you were away
Lied to a hot neighbor and told her I was gay
And my fish might have died because I overfed
And I might have done some stuff with a girl in your bed, yeah
[Chorus: Keith]
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for n***s you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later, I burst out of your womb
Hey, mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for n***s you found on my phone
I'm so glad dad impregnated you
And nine months later, I burst out of your womb