[Verse 1]
I bought this turban at a garage sale
And ever since then I've been an alpha male
There's just something ladies love
About a big, sexy turban
Someone better hose me down
'Cause I'm so hot, I'm burnin'

[Chorus 1: Ian, Anthony]
(Sex Turban)
It's a magical sexual hat
(Sex Turban)
I wouldn't be caught dead in that
(Sex Turban)
You put it on and all the ladies wanna sex ya
(Sex Turban)
Alright, fine. Do you have an extra?

[Verse 2]
Not everybody knows
Just how I get my hoes
(Whoa! Sexist!)
Not everybody knows
How to respectfully pursue a woman
That's better
If you wanna get a lady in your bed
Put a sex turban on your head
Sex Turban
It's a turban made of sex
Sex Turban
My ancestors were oppressed!
Sex Turban
No girl has ever touched me there
Sex Turban
Oh, Ian, can I taste your hair?

At first I didn't think
The turban magic was real
And now I'm covered in ladies
Trying to cop a feel
It was cool at first
But now I'm feeling harassed
So now I'm gonna take it off
So they stop groping my ass!

Sex Turban
It's a sex hat made of cloth
Sex Turban
You can never take it off!
Wait! What?
Death Turban
If you take it off you'll die
Dude, what the fuck?
Death Turban
Just keep it on, don't ask why