I'm the most badass mom you've ever seen!
If you look at me funny I'll rip out your spleen!
I'll crush your face with my hands and turn it into stew!
I'll make you do chores around the house and shovel up the dog's
Poo!

Alright, let's open this motherfucking pit!
Go!
Poo!
Ah ha ha ha!

I am Ian's mom!
My son's a dumbass!
I am Ian's mom!
My son's a pussy!