[Verse 1]
There comes a time in every man's life
When he grows hair where it used to be bare
I know you're feeling weird, but you should be happy
You don't have a vagina, that would be crappy
'Cause periods suck (And commas rule!)
This is sex education, not grammar, fool!

[Chorus]
When she gives you affection, you better wear protection
That skank might have an infection, are you paying close attention?
In Sex Ed, remember what you read (Remember what you read)
Just forget what the others have said
Get it through your head, use your brain before you go to bed

[Verse 2]
It takes only one sperm cell to make a baby
And if you think they are cute, then you must be crazy
Babies suck 'cause they barf and poo and cry
They have the ability to pee in your eye
Babies suck 'cause they barf and poo and cry
They have the ability to pee in your eye
(OH MY GOD IT BURNS!!!)

[Breakdown 1]
And did we mention
The risk of getting STDs
Not just gross hookers have it
Even Dennis Rodman could get a bit
You don't know who Dennis Rodman is?
Well maybe you should watch more basketball
Wait a second, this is not about sports
(Quick fact!) You can't get girls when wearing these shorts
[Chorus]
When she gives you affection, you better wear protection
That skank might have an infection, are you paying close attention?
In Sex Ed, remember what you read (Remember what you read)
Just forget what the others have said
Get it through your head, use your brain before you go to bed

[Interlude: Ian (as Billy)]
I still don't get it

[Breakdown 2]
Your body is growing
You will get hairy
Your puny voice will start to change
And your no-no place will feel a bit strange
Your pits will stink
You will get zits on your face
Without this knowledge, you will scare girls away
So listen to this song every day

[Outro: Ian (as Billy)]
That song was stupid