[Verse 1: Ian]
Here's the thing about saying, "Firetruck"
It starts with "F", and it ends with "uck"
So, whenever you're in trouble or out of luck
You no longer have to exclaim "Oh f**k!"
Hey, look at that, they just bleeped me!
Instead say "Firetruck", it's so easy
And I'd like to take a moment, just sit right there
I'll tell you how you can say "firetruck" anywhere

[Chorus 1: Ian, Anthony]
Stub your toe, firetruck!
Lose your cash, firetruck!
You're naked and your parents come home, firetruck!
Fail your class, firetruck!
Scratch your ass, firetruck!
Clip your nails too short and it hurts, firetruck!
Crap your pants, firetruck!
Bite your tongue, firetruck!
No one shows up to your party, firetruck!
Red Ring of Death, firetruck!
Forget to breathe, firetruck!
Found out your mom is your dad, firetruck!

[Verse 2: Anthony, Ian]
Say "Firetruck" every chance you see
It's even more fun when it gets bleeped
Say it with me now, don't make this suck
"F... uck!"
Whoa man, did you just say "F**k"?
No man, I just said "Firetruck"!
But when you bleep it, it says "F**k"
Who cares, man? We're sayin' "Firetruck"!
[Chorus 2: Ian, Anthony]
Lose your teeth, firetruck!
IPhone bill, firetruck!
Jonas Brothers stuck in your head, firetruck!
Crash your car, firetruck!
Into your dog, firetruck!
Turns out your dog is your mom, firetruck!

[Spoken: Anthony, Ian]
Wait, so now my mom's a dog?
And your dad
This is just getting ridiculous!
You act like it's not normal
It isn't normal!
It is in Canada…
So they have man-dog-women in Canada?
...Yes

[Chorus 3: Anthony, Both, Ian]
Fail science, firetruck!
Eat a pencil, firetruck!
There's over 500 Pokemon?! What the firetruck!
Lose the game, firetruck!
David Blaine, firetruck!
Get ran over by a... (What?) firetruck!
[Outro: Ian, Anthony]
Yeah
Next time you wanna say the F-word, just say "Firetruck"
It's more polite
And if you didn't like this song, go firetruck yourself