[Verse 1: Anthony, Mom]
The greatest thing ever just happened to me, you see!
Take that, mom, you can't tell me how to be
I'm livin' on my own and I've got no rules
Yeah, I rule my own house and I'll tell you what I'll do (Ha!)
First, I'll grab some milk, drink it straight from the jug
Then grab a sandwich, eat it butt naked on the rug
All these whack fruit snacks with only five in a pack
"Only eat one!" Fuck that, I'll snack 'til I yack

[Chorus: Anthony, Ian, Both]
No more parents, no more rules
Yeah, nice try mom, but I ain't no fool
No more bath time, no more hugs
And if I feel like it, I will crap on the rug!
No more mommy, no more dad
Livin' on my own, most fun I've ever had
I'm eatin' cookies for breakfast 'cause I don't give a fuck!
Shoot your squirties in the air and scream, "Parents suck!"

[Verse 2: Anthony, Ian]
My parents ain't around to tell me what I can't say
So I yell "fuck", "shit" and "darn" every day
My parents ain't around to tell me what to do
So I leave the door open while I take a big poo
My parents ain't around to make me mow the lawn
Instead I'll watch dirty vids with the volume on
My parents ain't around to say I can't watch certain flicks
They won't let me watch Bambi, what a bunch of dicks!
[Chorus: Anthony, Ian, Both]
No more parents, no more rules
Yeah, nice try mom, but I ain't no fool
No more bath time, no more hugs
And if I feel like it, It will crap on the rug
No more mommy, no more dad
Finally I can wear my skanky top that I had
I'm eatin' shards of glass 'cause I don't give a fuck!
Shoot your squirties in the air and scream, "Parents suck!"

[Verse 3: Anthony, Ian]
No one to make me clean my room each day of the week
No one to read me bedtime stories and kiss me on my cheek
No one to zip my jacket when it's cold outside
No one to tell me to take my insulin when I'm about to die
No one to do my laundry when it stinks up the house
No one to cuddle at night when I'm scared of a mouse
No one to tell me to not take candy from strangers
No one to tell me not to show my peepee to strangers

[Outro/Spoken: Anthony, Mom]
"Hey, Mom..."
"Hi, son!"
"Do you think I could move back in?"
"Fuck no!"