[Intro]
Oh, don't touch that dial

[Verse 1]
Here's a word about my ex-girlfriend
Towards the end conflict off and on
And I told her one night, "Honey, every time we fight
I'll write a verse to this song," well
Things got bad, things got worse
Still I struggled on
So sit back and get all comfortable
'Cause this little tune's six fucking hours long

[Chorus]
And every journey's got destinations
Which the traveler can't expect
So how's that I'm always winding up
Down here at land's edge?

[Post-Chorus]
I don't know
Alright, alright

[Verse 2]
Now if love is blind
Why did her stockings always look so cool?
Now I know I was paying attention
But somehow I got fooled
Well, I gave her the seven children
And a twelve room uptown shack
And when it all was over
Took a dozen lawyers to get half back
[Chorus]
But I already got me a new gal to ruin my life
And she might just yet
So I'm helping her find an apartment
Down here at land's edge
Yes I am

[Interlude]
Alright, oh
Let's continue our discussion

[Verse 3]
Now take the traveler and the tourist
The essential difference is
That the traveler don't know where he's goin'
And the tourist don't know where he is, ha
Small world 'til they lose your luggage though
Take the stripper who lives next door
You'd swear this kid was twenty-one
Goin' on forty-four

[Chorus]
Yeah, but luckily that ain't how she sees it
Got a new tattoo that says
"When I die, send the body to Heaven
Lost the rest at land's edge"