Black: AUGHHH! A perfect performance on your first attempt again?! How do you keep doing this?! Who cares you’re still going to die!

BF: What?! But I won!

Black: And I lied. It’s sort of my thing Anyone with half a brain would have realized from the start this was always the way it was going…

Girlfriend: Down.

Black: What was that? AGH!!

Girlfriend: Boyfriend? *Gasp* Boyfriend!

BF: Oh h-hey girlfriend! Glad you found a way in!

Girlfriend: Ok. Good. You have a voice and a heartbeat! Thank god you’re still alive this time

BF: I mean of course I am! The Boyfriend never loses a rap battle!

Girlfriend: Oh yes you do

BF: Huh?

Girlfriend: Eh-hahah just kidding babe! Now go on through that exit portal whilе your skin’s still attached

BF: While my skin’s still-wha- what are you talking about?
Girlfriеnd: Mwah!

BF: I love walking through the portal and asking no further questions

Girlfriend: I’ll catch up with you in a minute! Got something to take care of first

Black: Oh goodness hahahah I’m ever so sorry you had to come all this way to fetch that boyfriend fellow I just finished chasing off that horrid grey imposter before you showed up looks just like me in this dimly lit corridor would you believe he tried to attack your suitor outside of the respawn area

Girlfriend: I know what you did here

Black: why whatever do you mean

Girlfriend: I know what you did here 13,541 times

Black: look lady even I have no memory of me killing that shrimp outside of the ship

Girlfriend: I do

Black: oh BAHAHAHAHAH I guess I’m pretty good at my job after all

Girlfriend: Down down down

Black: He…Believes…

Girlfriend: What?!
Black: he believes he is too skilled to die

Girlfriend: that’s fine it’s better if he doesn’t know

Black: an insect which thinks itself a god will only scurry quicker to its own demise one even you may not be able to reload that is what you’ve been doing yes?

Girlfriend: as many times as it takes I’m not losing another boyfriend

Black: Hmmm I see I am in the presence of another master manipulator but how long can you keep up this facade on your own before he finds out you’ve been sabotaging his trust and ejects you from his heart or perhaps you are truly foolish enough to believe that he’d still want anything to do with you after learning you’ve been forcing him to experience the agonizing pain of death thousands of times just to stay together

Girlfriend: give me your soul

Black: what was that now?

Girlfriend: give me your soul for awhile and I won’t wipe you from existence I need to borrow you

Black: well I suppose that is better than being crushed to death I accept your terms but just remember no matter how much you keep cutting the power you can’t keep him in the dark forever AND ONCE IVE WHITTLED YOUR GARD DOWN MY KNIFE WILL BE THE LAST THING HE SEES BEFORE IT ALL HOES BLACK. Now then what precisely did you need my help for

Girlfriend: I don’t need your help

Black: Huh?! I thought you just wanted me to tag along and cover your tracks a clean slate a second chance to appear trustworthy

Girlfriend: irredeemable monsters like us don’t deserve a second chances but I got one anyway AND YOU WILL NEVER TAKE HIM FROM ME AGAIN

Black: Hey what’s going on I can’t get back in my body
Girlfriend: I own your soul now what you do with it isn’t your chose to make anymore it’s mine

Black: Cmon lady these stupid ghost hands can’t kill crewmates like fleashy ones can! They can’t even hit the button to go back to the ship! Do you really intend to leave me trapped in this void outside my favorite husk like this forever

Girlfriend: Good point

Black: what are you

Girlfriend: everything I pretend I’m not in other words an imposter