[Dedede (spoken)]
Penguin's log. Ever since Sky Baby 2 got beat up by Kirbeh, I've been trying everything. First I tried puttin' that broken mask on and tellin' Kirby I was stronger. He just ate it. Then Sky Baby 2 cried louder. Then I sent hundreds o' monsters to fight 'im. One after the other, I got back failure after failure...and a big bill from Nightmare Enterprises. When that didn't work, I threw him into a pinball machine and a brick maze. He liked it! Heck, I even went and got myself possessed. A lot. That wasn't my idea, though, just kinda happened. But as I yelled and cried about everything failin' me, I realized the only thing failin' me...was me
Since then, I've abandoned the gimmicks, tricks, and deceptions, and focused on self-improvement. I studied up. I worked out. I ate somethin' healthy on my pie once! And I didn't stop until the whole world around me felt...ultra-charged. It's been three long gruelin' hours...but finally, at long last, I got a foolproof plan to prove myself and clobber dat dere Kirbeh!
HEY KIRBEH! I STOLE YOUR AWFUL CAKE!

[Kirby]
Poyo!

[Dedede (spoken)]
Heh heh heh... I knew you'd come runnin' for that. Here, take this hammer. I want a fair fight

[Kirby]
Puyo?

[Dedede (spoken)]
I'm a new Dedede with a new hammer, bud. No more tricks, just a mask so I don't have to wipe off your blood...

[Crowds]
Hail to the ring!
One last battle, go!

[Kirby]
Puyo?

[Dedede]
Famous last words...well, they're about to be...
(sung)
Let's brawl, just you and me, Kirby
Better give your all 'cos I ain't got plans to show any mercy
You've been a thorn in my side, have a hammer in yours
I'll beat you down so hard you'll stay down on the floor!
My mallet's fueled by pain and also batteries
So let me put it plain: there's electricity
Coursin' inside its veins, twenty thousand volts
Of power 'bout to hit you like a lightin' bolt

[Kirby]
PuYoooooo!!!!

[Dedede]
Don't whine and cry
I've done that plenty on my own
I was a punchin' bag but Dedede has grown
This wrestlin' ring is where a king can take a stand
To prove himself the rightful ruler over Dreamland...

[Bandana Waddle Dee]
Hail to the mighty king Dedede
For his victory has been hard-fought!
Through the fiercest ferocity
Be the monstrosity you've yearned to be
And clobber that Kirby!
[Dedede]
Speechless, no doubt, I don't blame you
I know this ring inside and out, this hammer too!
Looks like somehow you endured being shocked, Kirby, so let's fix that
With a Dedede stomp to leave you pancake-flat!
Still bouncin' back, still standin' tall?
Guess you're still a worthy opponent to Dedede after all
Time to engage my new hammer's final attack!
No blockin' this, no stoppin' now, no turnin' back!

[Kirby]
Puyo?

[Waddle Dee]
Sire, no!

[Dedede]
Better quiver, Kirby, cos even I'm scared
Don't know what's gonna happen and I'm not prepared
But I'll do what it takes to win, even my worst
So do your foe a favor, kid, and try to die first

[Bandana Waddle Dee]
King, you don't have to go through with this!
Throw the towel and later try on!
We can't be citizens if you clench your last win 'cos there can't be a kingdom if the king is gone!
[Dedede (spoken)]
TOO LATE!
ENGAGE...
ULTIMATE DEDEDE SPIN! (spins around until he is giddy)
Ugh...so dizzy...

Ugh...not again...
(sung)
I'm pathetic, I'm a failure, nothin's really changed...
It's confusin', all this brusin' has me feelin' strange
Why did I need to destroy him, why I'd need this last fight?
Hope the waddles find Dreamland a king that rules right...

[Minions]
Hey, king! Why the long face?
We don't care if you finish second place!
You're our king, sir! You're our ruler!
There's nobody in Dreamland that's cooler!

[Dedede (spoken)]
You deserve more than me...
Couldn't kill a baby...
How can I protect all o' you guys when I can't even clobber a small fry?
Just leave me to waddle, wallow and cry...

[Minions]
You're an empath! You're a good king! Nothin's really changed!
You've been fightin' for us Waddles, and it's not that strange
That you can't kill off a baby; we don't care if you do!
We just wanna be your servants and take care of you!

[Dedede (spoken)]
Really? AW, GUYS!
Let's go home and feed me a pie!

[Waddle Dee]
Eheh, no can do, sire. You burned the place down with that final attack

[Meta Knight]
Don't worry, everyone's safe

[Escargoon]
And homeless!

[Dedede]
Welp...we better get to work buildin' Dedede Castle Two then! And by we, I mean you guys

[Minion 1]
Roger that, sir! Should we scout the old castle for materials?

[Dedede]
Nah, leave it. That wreckage'll cut your stubby lil' hands. And I'm not lettin' ANYTHIN' in my castle hurt my friends ever again...

[Marx]
(Cackles)