I decided to stay in tonight
While my friends are out having good times
Gonna try and get some work done
While my friends are all having fun
Try to organize my bathroom shelf
Quickly give up and just Google myself
Gonna read my old blog posts
Shit, I think I just saw a ghost

Staying home on a Friday night
Here kitty kitty, she likes to hide
Contemplate a Tumblr feed
Looking for reality shows to stream
Where you at? I got to know
Sweat pants, pit stains, like a hobo
Half veggie, half cheese Domino’s
Here’s the money, please don’t go

Yo! I’m running through thesе dragons like Baggins
I’m sending emails from my phonе
So no one knows I’m home alone
By myself, yeah, it’s my buttons are poppin'
Peeing and pooping with the bathroom door open

Party rocking in my house tonight
Gonna try out my new book light
Try to watch a documentary
But it’s foreign so I fall asleep
I’m so lonely I could live tweet
Fill up all my friends’ Twitter feeds
And I think I’m starting to regret
Is Dakota Fanning 18 yet?
Home alone I’m Googling!

Stand up slow
You’ve been sitting too long, your blood pressure’s low
Come and make that booty go
Now stop, get off my keybo'

Bring my comforter out to the couch
Anxious cause my friends are all out
Talking to myself out loud
Facebook my ex, I’m naked now!

Full crust to me
All my work procrastinate
Full crust
Full crust
Full crust
Full crust
Full crust
All my work procrastinate, crastinate
All my work pro
All my work pro
All my work pro
All my work pro

Make a fort out of my dirty clothes
Watching shows only my parents know
Drink a cup of straight triple sec
It’s the only liquor I have left
Think I’m having a panic attack
Everyone, I think that ghost is back
Think I might be slowly losing my mind
Should have gone out and had a good time