[NEWSREADER] (spoken)
This just in, a boy just eighteen years old…
Known to his fans simply as ‘HARRY'…
Performed to ninety thousand last night…
Has since been reported…

[FANS] (spoken)

Missing?!

[EDNA] (spoken)
I think I just need to stay in bed all day

[CAROLINE] (spoken)
You should really try to go to school

[EDNA] (spoken)
Mum, everything hurts

[CAROLINE] (spoken)
It won’t look good if you don't try—

[EDNA] (spoken)
Mum I literally can't

[NEWSREADER] (spoken)
One point four million fans have flooded London’s Trafalgar Square
[NEWSREADER] (spoken)
—have flocked to Times square

[NEWSREADER] (spoken)
—are holding vigil in Tiananmen square

[SALTY] (spoken)
This is so spooky right? I can't believe that we were JUST researching a fic where a
Fan kidnaps Harry and now he's… gone? Did we like, curse him?

[HARRY'S MUM] (spoken)
Whoever has him, please, give me back my son

[LILY] (sung)
Terrorists, dad said it's terrorists. That's what he said!

[DOM]
My psychic auntie says he's defs not dead

[SALTY]
But if it were terrorists, someone would claim it
Publish a video, which would explain what
They wanted, their demands

[GRETA] (spoken)
What if they've cut off his penis?!
[ASH] (sung)
Maybe it’s a just publicity stunt?

[SALTY]
But they’ve lost so much money on ticket refunds

[GRETA & LILY]
And his mum looks really sad!

[SALTY]
I don't think it can be fake

[ASH]
What if he just like, ran?

[LILY]
He’d never!

[GRETA]
He'd never do that to the fans!

[SALTY] (spoken)
What if he did something else?

[LILY] (spoken)
Like what else?
[SALTY] (sung)
What if he did something to himself?

[ALL BUT SALTY] (spoken)
Don't say that!

[SALTY] (spoken)
I made this spreadsheet. You put in your name and time zone in and then you can see who else might be awake if you need a chat. We need to take care of each other—

[LILY] (spoken)
What we need to do is find whoever took him and MAKE THEM PAY!