(One, Two, Three, Four...)

Sitting there on the staircase
A pale-faced man opens up a guitar case
He shouldn't have brought it there in the first place
Tuning the strings to a sound that just sounds...
It don't sound good

This hat bitch needs months more of practice
The fact is guitar chords still hurt his fingers
And he ain't a good singer but believes that
All he needs to succeed is having something to say...
And he don't have that, neither

White man and acoustic guitar
Has got to be the worst Plus One by far
You can try to hide the instruments in your house
But this white dude will go and fuckin' sniff 'em out

And he's singing all the worst songs, saying
"Hey, everybody, come and sing along!"
'Cause he don't know the words himself, he just put in
The least amount of work to go impress some woman

And the worst part is that it sometimes works