[Intro - YouTuber]
*sighs of regret*
Okay you caught me
You found the thing that I was hiding from you, deliberately!
And I'm very sorry, I was wrong!
But I've changed since then, so let's drop it and move on?

[Verse 1]
Okay you caught me!
Looks like the ruse is through
Cuz' the wholesome brand that you knew
Well it ain't true!

You're mad, I understand
So I'll leave for six months
Then strut right back like
"Nothing happened, hey it's me!
The guy whose fruit don't match the tree!
Believe me, the celebrity
Why would I say what I don't mean?"

[Bridge: Bastard]
(Listen here) Look see, we're of the same breed
Yes, you'd do the same if you have the means
This power I've gained has magnified
The bastards we are, yet I have the world's eyes!
I've been mired in the throes of ego!
A hell that rewards baseness and evil!
I'm remorseful! (Another shrewd tactic
That tugs at the heart of the unsure fanatics!)

[Verse 2: Bastard]
Okay, you caught me!
So I'll write my condolences in the Notes app of my phone-ses-es
I use to make scapegoats to those who told their truth
While I lurked and I did much worse! (Plus I lied about it)
But now the facts are exposed
I query ye all, both young and old
When it comes to my crimes that have been told
Let he who hasn't done this too, cast the first stone!

[Outro Skit]
"I just can't believe he'd do something like this... I mean, not whatever crime he committed, but make an apology song? I mean, we should cancel him again just for that. Goes to show: Never meet your heroes. I mean, I looked up to this guy! We aligned on every single thing! Did he lie to me?! Or... are we more alike than I'd care to admit?"