September
Just wanting it to end
Remember
The way you watched me
When I said
I could never be what you expected
I'd rather be dead
September
Losing friends

You used to say
I had to figure out my own truth
I could never see it through
But when I got home from the hospital
I knew exactly what to do

Forever
Best friends just like we always said
Frightened girls just trying to live life outside their heads
But then your patience wore too thin and I could not pretend
By November we never spoke again

When we met I'd already given up
Shitty punk and black label as if it was enough
Caught in the uncertainty of blood
Confusing gentleness at last with love
Together
We'd make it out alive, we said
Beacons shining bright across the internet
Plans were tentatively made
But there were rifts we couldn't mend
Ever wondering if we could last as friends

Moving twice a year and never looking back
Wondering if this is all I'll ever have
Counting change for food and thinking day by day
Tried to cross the border to see you but got turned away

"What does it mean?"
"I'm sorry."

I think about the way we caused each other so much pain
And my obsession with always needing an escape
But even when things got so bad I thought I'd run away
There was a comfort knowing things would never be the same