On a planet 60 million light years out
Lives a race of highly evolved reptiles
They found a planet of fellow life
And this is what they said of them

Look at those monkeys on the ground
One look should say they should be drowned
With their freaky eyes and hair and
The disgusting things they chew
Oh, hit the big red button, won’t you?

On a planet hurdling through the Milky Way
Lives a race of highly evolved mammals
They saw the reptile ships above
And this is what they said of them

Look at those lizards in the sky
One look should tell you they should die
With their beady eyes and scales and
The disgusting things they spew
Oh, hit the big red button, won’t you?

‘Tis I, the cosmic ostrich of truth
I see you fight, but what is the use?
I’ve a new truth for you to deduce
Although we’re different, we can all get along
So let’s hold hands and sing us a song
We’re all just stardust, we can all get along
(NO!)
Look at those monkeys on the ground
One look should say they should be drowned
With their freaky eyes and hair and
The repulsive way they walk
Oh, hit the big red button, quick before they try to talk

Look at those lizards in the sky
One look should tell you they should die
With their beady eyes and scales and
Their disgusting gangrene skin
So both sides hit their buttons, the end