"One, two, three, four."

[Verse 1 (Jace McLain)]
Dumbledore died a pretty long while ago
But his followers mourn to this day
A tragic event, we wish that he didn't go
Then we later found out that he was gay
Well, I was dicking around outside the castle grounds
Then I found the beloved man's grave
So, to pay my respects, I set some flowers out
And I watered them in my own special way

[Chorus (Jace McLain, Timothy Crist)]
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
Slight chance of rain for our headmaster today
I'm leaking the Schwartz upon the master of Hogwarts
I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave

[Verse 2 (Jace McLain)]
Dumbledore's memory will be in our dreams
Well, we always knew that he was number one
And though I'm washing those memories away in a stream
There are many good things that he has done
If your day was a drought, he'd always help you out
With a golden shine from within
He would come to your side at each catastrophe
So you're safe from the danger Ur-Ine
[Chorus (Jace McLain, Timothy Crist)]
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
The chamber of secrets sprung a small leak today
I'm making an ocean with a magical potion
I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave

[Bridge (Jace McLain, Timothy Crist)]
This act I'm committing seems so perfect and fitting
And it feels so good to pour these feelings out
As he sits and decays, I'm feeling pretty okay
Besides a shower's one thing he's gone too long without
From the land of the free, to France where they say "Oui, Oui"
They say I'm doing something awful, and wrong
But though a great flood of people might be pissed off at me
At least they're not getting pissed on

[Chorus (Jace McLain, Timothy Crist)]
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
They're speaking in Parseltongue to whip out the snake
I'm whizzing the wand to make a magical pond
And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
I can hear Rowling bawling, I still won't behave
I'm baptizing the phoenix using my full petrenis
And I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
(Everybody!)
I'm draining the lizard on a dead gay wizard
It's the first wand unleashed on him since his dying day
I'm nearly a muggle, but I can someone a puddle
And in case you were pee-occupied and didn't hear me
I'm pissing on Dumbledore's grave
"Yea."