[Verse 1]
I've been tellin’ everyone I know
That when September comes, I'll make my move
I'll change my email and lose my phone
I’ll shave my head and buy new clothes
And let those Santa Ana winds just blow away
These old, old computer blues
That I've accrued

[Verse 2]
So I picked a U-Haul up in Queens
Packed up my things and bid my last adieus
But as I drove through New Jersey
I had a thought that did disturb me
Maybe winter's not a season, it's a state of being
That just being in a warmer state won't help me lose

[Chorus]
And so I won't be movin' out to Los Angeles
This fall, after all
I got a mother that I just can't please
I got a lover that I can’t just leave
And I’ve signed along the dotted line and I turned in my keys
But I'm nowhere close to Los Angeles

[Instrumental Break]
[Verse 3]
So I’m driving back to New York
To the tune of "California, here we come"
My cat curls up in the shotgun seat
And she gives one of those looks to me
That seems to say, "Well, that was quite the stunt you pulled
You old, old son of a gun
Now have a think about what you've done"

[Verse 4]
Oh, wouldn't my life be so much better?
Wouldn't all my problems sorta disappear?
If I could find the courage now
To turn this speeding dump around
And drag it all behind me into the sunset
Lighting up my rearview mirror
Perhaps another year

[Chorus]
Oh no, I won’t be movin' out to Los Angeles
This fall, after all
I got a mother that I just can't please
I got a lover that I can't just leave
And I've signed along the dotted line and I turned in my keys
But I'm nowhere close to Los Angeles