The world today seems absolutely crackers
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger
It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They copy everything they sees
But they're up on the moon, so they'll do as they please

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They're still a little communese
But Americans don't need to fret
For China has bought all their debt

I like Chinese food
The waiters never are rude
Think of the many things they've done to impress
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess

So I like Chinese
I like Chinese
I like their tiny little trees (That's Japanese), Oh yes
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese
I like Chinese thought
The wisdom that Confucius taught
If Darwin is anything to shout about
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt

So, I like Chinese
I like Chinese
I like their teas and their tai chi's
Their calligraphy, as you can see they all dance with ease

[Dance break]

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
Their food is guaranteed to please
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees
All together now

(verse in Chinese)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
[Elvis]
I like Chinese (He likes Chinese)
I like Chinese
I like Chinese, oh yes
Thank you very much O2
Yeah