They say I might as well face the truth
That I'm just too long in the tooth
Oh I'm an O.A.P. and weak-kneed
But I have not yet quite gone to seed

I may be over the hill now that I have retired
Fading away but I'm not yet expired
Clapped out, rundown, too old to save
One foot in the grave

(Closing theme):

They say I might as well face the truth
That I'm just too long in the tooth
I've started to deteriorate
And now I've passed my own sell-by date

Oh I am no spring chicken it's true
I have to pop my teeth in to chew
And my old knees have started to knock
I've just got too many miles on the clock

So I'm a wrinkly, crinkly, set in my ways
It's true my body as seen better days
But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave
One foot in the grave
One foot in the grave
One foot in the grave