Had I been a bigger man
I would’ve read the room
And swept these wicked witches right up off their brooms
Had I been a bigger man
I would have stalled them
And sped off in a minivan mixing their cauldron

And we should have known better
Fumbling for the switch
We lose the keys to the kingdom to a wicked witch
And we never see home again

But I am just a little boy in a colony of nudists
Kerri-Jeanne rolls her eyes like she already knew this
Yes I am just a little boy delivering your news
I don’t get a cent to comment on your blues

And we should have known better
Than to swing at every pitch
The Cy Young award winner was a wicked witch
And I never played ball again

Somebody’s chewing holes in the console’s controls
But I don’t care if the spaceships are in the air
Somebody’s chewing holes in the console’s controls
But you don’t mind if the wheel’s not the one you’re behind
And we should have known better than to deal in Mr Fitch
He’s going all in blind with a gambling witch
And we never seem normal again