[Verse 1]
Most depressed man from Shanghai to Colorado
Repeating 'please God, make it stop!’ 'cause thats my motto
Quit my job and buy some drugs if I win the lotto
Splatter myself all over the walls of the condo (what?)

[Verse 2]
Yup, I don't wanna live
There’s a goddamn reason that I don't have kids
I don't want them to follow the same path I did
And they might just end up dead if I blow my lid
Every night I pray to God that my car skids off the road in the dark ,g
I'm getting sick of putting up with darkies
Might just have to slash my wrists with my car keys
I'm starting to get sick of this malarkey
Hoping that bitch from accounting gives me back my sharpie

[Verse 3]
Jump off and hope I don't bounce like a dead cat
For real, I just wanna rot like a dead rat
I'm a piece of scum
I'm dirty like a mudflap
The only kinda porn that still turns me on is scat
Thats why my basement is my natural habitat
Been a couple years since I’ve been to the laundromat
Single, ’cause I beat my ex-bitch with a metal bat
300 pounds, though I wouldn't call it fat
Doc says ’morbidly obese'
But I don't think of it like that