[Intro]
One... Two... Three... Four... (uh)

[Verse 1]
She lives in my basement, but I met her on Minecraft
I'm so big that you couldn’t save me with a life raft
You couldn't capture all of me in a single photograph
I sound like the penguin from Toy Story when I laugh
I don't own a single pair of pants that covers my ass
She calls me daddy when her spit dribbles down my shaft
On a couple beers she gets kinda trashed
In a thousand years she couldn’t last as long as I last
Last time we fucked, I asked her to call me daddy
Doc says who cares I'm a big fat fatty
Good deals on the internet always make me happy
My girl just left time to jack it and be snappy
Grab this hold of Indians, Asians and Iraqis
Under my shirt my body is big fat and flappy
Start to wheeze when my girlfriend tries to slap me
But I throw her on the floor when she starts to get bratty

[Verse 2]
Knick knack patty whack give a dog a bone
Dinner better be ready when i get home
Keep hitting me bitch I'll hit you with a stone
I'm trying not to think about if I was alone (Yeah)

[Verse 3]
I'm a certified EMT
Level headed guy and it's not hard to see
In the blink of an eye, I lose all decency
If any of the Gooks want to have a piece of me
Better stay calm, I'm trained to keep the peace
If I see a sand n¡gger I'll tell him to freeze
You have ten seconds to drop to your knees
When he turns back pull the trigger and freeze
I killed a towelhead Islam is a disease
It’s like my gun is the cure, I have a PhD
My Minecraft gf is cool cos she’s.....