The dragon wagged his tail happily when Billy patted its head
Billy went downstairs to tell his mother
"There's no such thing as a dragon," said Billy's mother, and she said it like she meant it
There's no such thing as a dragon
Said Billy's mother and she said it like she meant it

[Chorus]
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all

Now the next thing you might wonder is how often have you actually gone into a house where there's a dragon?
You've all еncountered dozens of housеs that were filled right to the rafters with various dragons
All of which were being studiously ignored by the people who inhabited the house
Billy went back to his room and began to dress
The dragon came close to Billy in a friendly manner, and wagged it's tail, but Billy didn't pat it
If there's no such thing as something, it's silly to pat it on the head
Billy washed his face and hands and went down to breakfast
The dragon went along, it was bigger now almost the size of a dog
Billy sat down at the table
The dragon sat down on the table
This sort of thing was not usually permitted, but there wasn't much Billy's mother could do about it
She'd already said, "There's no such thing as a dragon"

[Chorus]
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all
And if there's no such thing, you can't tell it to get down off the table
Mother made some pancakes for Billy, but the dragon ate them all
Mother made some more, but the dragon ate those too
Mother kept making pancakes until she ran out of batter
Billy only got one of them, but he said, "That's all he really wanted anyway. "
One time an acquaintance of ours brought their son over to be babysat at our house
His nanny had just been in a car accident, so he was being shunted from house to house while his parents went off to work
He didn't have a very good reputation this kid, he was about four
He came over to our house with his mother in the morning, and she dropped them off, and she said
"Well, you probably won't eat all day, but that's all right."
And I thought, "No, ah-ah, he's four, he doesn't eat all day?"
That's not all right
It isn't all right that he doesn't eat
So, then you think, "Well, maybe there's some sort of a dragon associated with this child."

[Chorus]
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all

So I came back at noon, my wife had taken care of the children
The other kids were playing in the living room, and he was standing in the porch, sort of in the corner, wandering around back and forth, and I looked at him and I thought
"That's not so good," so I kind of poked him, just poking him, trying to get him to play
And he had this mask of a face on unhappy, and I poke him and he kind of jerk away, and all that
I couldn't get him to smile, I couldn't get them to play it, and I thought, "That's not good, that's not good 'cause he's four."
Like he should have acted unhappy for two or three pokes, and then kind of laughed, and then we would kinda get into it
So, then we had lunch, all the kids were at the table, and they were eating, and he was kneading, and so she was trying to feed him
And so we're watching him very carefully, and then she bring up the spoon to his mouth and he moves his head back and forth, you know, to refuse it, but a nine month old would do that
That's their first trick, something happened when he was nine months old, and he never got beyond that
You know, my wife was fairly persistent with the spoon, he'd get annoyed, and you know squall a bit, she puts two in, and then he'd swallow it, as soon as he took a little bit of food, she patted him, and tell him he was being a good kid, and she meant it, it was not a game, like she was really intent on getting this kid to have lunch
What was cool now she kept padding him on the head, and telling him he was a good kid
He was opening his mouth more often, even though he was still moving his head back and forth
It took about 10 minutes or so, and she had fed him the whole of chicken stew, and she showed him, and he said, "Look, you're a good boy. You ate all of it."
Look, you're a good boy, you ate all of it
That horrible mask that he was wearing, you know, that mask of unhappiness, it just fell off of him, and he had this great smile
It just made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, 'cause you could see that was the first damn thing that he'd been allowed to succeed at
[Chorus]
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all
No there's no such thing as a dragon
No there is no such thing at all

For the rest of the day he followed my wife around like a puppy dog, like he was one step behind her, and then we went downstairs into the basement, and we were watching TV, and he climbed up in her lap, and he grabbed on to her, just wrapped around her, you know?
And then his mother came home, and she came downstairs, and she took one look at this kid, and wrapped around my wife, and she said
"Oh, super mom," grabbed him and walked out, and I thought, "You."
That was a horrible thing to see
One day with that kid and you'd fix him up
'Cause one positive experience was enough to bring him out of his shell
It's okay that he doesn't eat
It's okay that he stands in the corner and he doesn't play with the other kids
It's okay that he's miserable and unhappy
It's like, "Hey, guess what? That's not okay.”
It's not even a little bit okay